“The thing I was really not prepared for was the sadness. I cried and cried, for quite a few days, and nothing and nobody could console me. I really did grieve. But I also felt so guilty for feeling that way, and somehow that I didn’t deserve to grieve, after all, there was no actual baby. A wonderfully supportive husband and some brilliant friends and family who patiently listened helped me the most. Talking about it was the best advice I was given.”

Advertisements

“I tried for almost three years to get pregnant. So when I finally fell I thought the hardest part was over, naively miscarriage didn’t enter my head. My miscarriage started at my mum’s birthday party with some light bleeding that I Googled and read was fairly normal. By the next day, I was in a lot of pain and passing a lot of blood. My partner and I went to our local hospital; we weren’t sure what the protocol was, were we being to over the top by going to A and E? The pain was too intense not to do anything though. We waited for over three hours to see someone and when we finally did they sent us to the gynaecology ward where we sat surrounded by expectant mums – I was doubled over in pain and waited again for another hour. Eventually we saw a doctor who examined me and said to go home and “see what happens”. After being at home less than an hour I ended up doubled over on my living room floor and passing my baby, a small sack but you could see the features of a child. We rang the number the hospital had given us and they told us to return as I was now loosing a lot more blood. Returning to the same waiting room we had not long left we waited again; I was in pain and rushing to the toilet every few minutes to pass more or change the sanitary towels which were overflowing. Eventually I was given a bed to lay on and after another couple of hours we saw a doctor who gave me some pain relief and discussed a possible transfusion. Throughout this whole day I’d avoided looking at my phone and calling anyone else as the irony was it was Mother’s Day and I didn’t want to disturb them. I was discharged later that night and spent the next two weeks at home where the bleeding gradually began to subside. The whole process is awful and frightening, but the one good thing was my amazing partner who didn’t say very much on the day but never left my side and never stopped holding my hand. If I can take anything from this experience it’s that I am definitely with the right man and one day when we do finally have children (as I haven’t fallen again since), I know how supportive he will be.”

“The first time I miscarried, I hadn’t even known I was pregnant as I was still having periods each month. Being told I was pregnant but I’m not anymore was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to try and get my head around. Mourning a baby I didn’t even know existed really messed with my head.”

“People thought I was doing fine because that’s what I told them. I couldn’t find the words to say I went home every night and cried myself to sleep. No one wants to hear that anyway.”