Hi, I’m Kate and I’m the owner and creator of That M Word.
It came about after I suffered a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks; I realised that out of all the information I was given, it was the heartfelt, honest advice and recollections of friends that had been through the same that made a real difference.
I’d known how common miscarriage was, so I thought I was clued up about the whole thing. Turns out that couldn’t be further from the truth; I was genuinely surprised by the amount of people who told me they’d experienced a miscarriage when I shared my story.
Every woman’s experience will be unique and we all deal with this loss in different ways; there’s no one rule for all. And that’s why, although it’s still useful and helpful, the information you get from medical staff and the leaflets they give you can feel a little clinical and impersonal and, to an extent, be quite vague about some of the physical details that might happen.
The result can be pretty terrifying if your miscarriage is more than just the ‘heavy period’ you’re advised about, especially if you have no idea what to expect.
I wanted to create a space where women can read practical tips and advice that’s been shared by other women. Where they can share their own stories and advice if they want to, anonymously or otherwise. So, several months after my own experience, here we are.
That M Word is a work in progress and I hope to develop it over the coming months, but it’s not designed to undermine or replace the support and information provided by medical professionals and groups. Its primary aim is to offer honest, sometimes brutal advice and expectations so you feel a little more prepared and in control if this is going to happen, or is happening, to you.
Since I set up this website, my husband and I have gone on to suffer what is deemed a ‘late miscarriage’ at 20 weeks. It was essentially a termination for medical reasons, due to a severe and irreversible heart defect that was non-compatible with life. Those two sentences may summarise what took place in November last year, but they cannot possibly describe the rollercoaster of emotions nor the physical experience we went through after attending our 20 week scan. To be honest, I’m not sure anything can. But I’m going to try my best to share our story and that’s why I’ve returned to update the site; because if I thought practical, blunt advice and information about early miscarriage was lacking, it was even more of a struggle to try and find out what to expect this time around.
This site won’t be for everyone, and that’s fine. But if it helps just one person out there, then at least I will know that something good has come out of my own experiences.